Look what we have here! The Idiot Lady is at the airport and using the Internet at the same time! Is it gauche to talk about using the Internet in the sky port now? Are we all over it? This is my first time... and I fly A LOT. It’s been a long time since I've had a first, if you know what I mean. I think you do. I think you know exactly what I mean. Imagine me winking and pointing some finger guns atcha, because that's what I'm doing. Oh Karin, you scallywag.

I also kinda forgot that my flight was today. All day on Thursday I thought I had several days. I was acting all easy breezy until Dadpiece called me up yesterday and was like "Girl, you ready for tomorrow?" and I was like "Ready as I'll ever be!" but I just thought he was talkin' about some day far from now. Thought I knew!

I feel like the guy sitting next to me has been talking about how Virgin Airlines is the best airline (we are flying Southwest) for nine lifetimes. I've been calling him "Virgin Man" in my head this whole time and I'm like, "I want you to shut up NOW, Virgin Man. I want you to stop talking." Damn. I know a joke. I know a joke I could make about that airline and its name and their reluctance to give me what I want, but I'm not going to do that because like… c'mon.

Also, Virgin Man is an infant in a man's body, but more on that later when he's not potentially reading over my shoulder!