JUST SHUT UP, INTERNET. SHUT UP WITH YOUR STUPID INTERNETTYNESS.

I reached for this tub of peanut butter filled pretzels that we got at Sam's Club a few weeks ago. I was like, PEANUT BUTTER PRETZELS? THAT'S A GOOD DINNER, YEAH? So of course I pulled them next to me so I could eat and go Internetting at the same time. But it's 61 degrees in my house, and rather than getting up to turn on the heat, I thought I'd pull my blanket over my legs. But no. No way. Not without all these pretzels and their crumby offspring piling onto my sheets. Because GOD FORBID I sleep on a nice, clean bed.

And like, I'm not proud. But I'm still just sitting here. With pretzels all up on me. And I'm still eating them. While blogging. About it.

Seriously, Life? You’re gonna do this to me? Throw some more dirt on a sister like this?