Friday, October 21, 2011

I potentially messed up yesterday a little bit on my whole “don’t go all bananas on snacks when you're out visiting your parents and your friends because they are delicious and all over the place and you never normally get to gorge all day like a moose in your pajamas” thing.

It started with the dark chocolate chip cookies my mom made for the janitors at the school where she teaches music.

That was purely an accident. I forgot I even had the ability to eat cookies. I went in looking for some sort of caffeinated / carbonated beverage and I stumbled across the tub of deliciousness and I just kinda shoved one in my mouth. Until my mouth was completely full and almost bursting. Then I laughed and was like “OMG, that was so fat. I have to do it again just so i can laugh about it some more.” And so I did.

I got two of these cookies because one didn’t seem like enough and three seemed excessive.

I walked up to Kenna's house and I grabbed a baggie of candy corn and a bottle of water on the way out the door for good measure.

We went into her parents' motorhome (now dubbed "MOHO") and stumbled across the Vincenzo's pizza situation while sitting there, so that had to happen.

I binged like Carnie Wilson yesterday you guys. While I fully intend to let myself the heck go once I land a rich man who will fix my body with surgery at my request, I can’t let what happened to Carnie Wilson happen to me because it’s been a life-long struggle for her and like, trust me, I have worked really hard for the body you're lookin' at today.

I have to get my period every month, too. PMS causes binge-like behavior all the time for me. I will eat ONLY CHOCOLATE CHIPS for days leading up to my period. Unless I get pregnant and then I have to try and save up for an abortion and that is just not something I need on my pig pile right now, yaknowwhatI’msaying?