Dying Alone Forever

Monday, September 19, 2011

This past weekend, a black guy told me that “with that skin and with those huge eyes, you look like the girl from ELF.” Later on, a guy at the mall told me to stand next to a poster for that show "New Girl" because we have the same face and he wanted to take a picture. THEN, my friend told me on the p hone something about the same thing (I can't remember because I was drunk by myself at 4:00PM, so like, bigger things were happening for me).

Guys. I obviously look nothing like what these people are saying anymore, so I asked the black dude if we all look the same, is that what he’s saying? Except I over-acted in my fake anger and I think he thought I was actually angry, not JK-ing like mad, and so he nervously laughed and walked away.

I’M GREAT WITH MEN. ALTERNATIVE ENDING LINE: DYING ALONE FOREVER.