Big O

Friday, September 9, 2011

Today I took my Juggalo to the zoo because I have a zoo pass and it's like going to the zoo for free, except for that time someone paid a lot of money to have a pass for me. I've been kinda bumming because it's my birthday and I am spending it at work all day, and I know right after work I am going to Home Depot to get paint for my dining room because all I wanted for my birthday was my house to be painted, and it's not yet. My goal is to get that room done this weekend. Because these are the types of things boring 25 year old Idiots do on weekends. Birthday weekends.

Anyway, on my way out of the zoo, the big guy who always checks parking passes hollered at me again. He hollers at me every time, something to do with my California plates. It's always a combination of a "HEYOHHH" and a "UNNNGGGHH!" Today I told him it was my birthday and that he should give me a free water bottle out of his cooler. He gave me a look, as if to say "silly white girl," reached into his cooler with both hands, pulled out ONE BIG BLACK MIDDLE FINGER, and one cold water bottle. Then he said, "HAPPY BIRTHDAY FROM BIG O!"

HOORAY, HURRAH! BIRTHDAY PAYS OFF! HOORAY FOR ALL! XANAX FOR ALL!