I'm just a girl on the Internet, asking it to give her money.

Friday, July 15, 2011

Hi Internet.

It's me, Karin.

In about a week, I will be leaving the place I call home and am in dire need of some financial assistance.

As some of you Internets may know, gas prices are nauseating right now. I mean it. Every time I pull up to the pump, I start dry heaving. My eyes water, my tongue starts flailing uncontrollably, and vomit gets lodged in my throat. I mean, whatever. We don't need to get specific here. I just want you to know that my reaction to gas prices is totally logical and not at all overly dramatized.

What I'm getting at is this: if you have the urge, maybe don't go to Starbucks one morning this week, and donate that $5 to me. Just give me your money. Just give it to me. Don't ask for anything in return, just give me it.

Do you know how low it feels to beg for money on the Internet? I am hoping this instills some kind of pity in your hearts and you just give me your money. Because I am a strong, independent woman (like my idol 'Yonce), but that doesn't mean I won't lower my self worth to beg for money on the Internet.

I just want to make that clear. And really, I drive a fuel-efficient slab of metal over here. I have a Toyota Yaris. It's dark gray and looks like a baby whale. If you donate money to me, you can tell everyone you donated to Save the Whales. I'll back you up on that. I'll tell everyone you helped save the whales. I'm in on it.

Well, anyway. Glad that's over.