Saddest thoughts

Tuesday, June 14, 2011

Ugh. I just can't handle the majority of my life direction at this moment. I really have almost no will anymore. I'm at that place in life where I'm just like, oh? A bus? Is hitting me? That's too crazy because you guys? I don't care.

You guys. You guys kidding me? I just...

Okay okay. First of alllllll. Woooooooooo. My dog is yelling at me. My dog is yelling at me. It’s hard to blog. He wants to play all the time. That's what it's like to be a puppy.

Anyway I feel like this tonight: I am unhappy in a giant majority of areas of my life to the extent that I don't even want to talk about them or fix them, I just want to invent a day to follow any day I feel like this and call it Cryday where I can cry in bed all day. And I can declare it Cryday whenever I feel like it because at this point in my life, crying is more beneficial and uplifting than doing real life things.

But... that's not to say I have REAL problems, cos I don’t. I don’t have real problems, I’m not strugglin to pay the bills or whatever. ...Or actually, maybe I do have real problems. Cos I can't really pay a lot of what I need to. Or, no. I’m fine. I’m fine.

On my drive home from the bank tonight I had this deep thought:

I was just thining like, I bet the most depressing feeling in the entire world is driving home from Bonnaroo. Or actually the most depressing moment in history, with the exception of a couple natural disasters and 9/11 and some things that have happened in other countries, probably the most depressing thing in the world is driving home from Woodstock '99. Like if I had to pick the most depressing moment in my lifetime? Dude, driving home from Woodstock '99 can you even imagine? You went in with such high hopes, OH MAN I'M GONNA SEE THE CHILI PEPPERS, MATTHEWS (Dave), OH YO KOOORRRN, IMMA SEE LIMP ZIBKIT (edit: zibkit? Really? That's where we're at, Karin?). The next thing you know, shit goes MAD awry, you’re covered in mud, the shrooms are wearing off, you’re not feeling good, you’re wishing that maybe you had spent that money on NOT dying inside that weekend...

Ugh and sorry if you went to Dub-Stock '99, and I just wanna take this time to give my condolences.

So anyway. I'm singing at this real nice place next week. I'll see you there. Or you’ll probably see me before then if you're one of the two people I ever really see, but you’ll also see me there. Okay.