Itchy Bellybutton

Thursday, June 23, 2011

If you follow me on Twitter, first of all I'm sorry, and second of all you might remember me mentioning someone's bellybutton itching so badly that it starts to bleed? Well *honesty time* I wasn't asking for a friend, guys. I have deceived you. It was for me. My bellybutton.

I think I have self-diagnosed it as a spider bite; a spider bite has been running my life for the past week. I don’t know where or how I got it, all I know is that it itches worse than any bug bites I ever remember having. I guess (I know) I was itching them in my sleep the past few nights because I wake up every morning and it is bleeding or crusty. They aren’t responsible for my unparalleled tan, though. I am tanner than I think I've ever been... except on my feet. But that's because I put too much lotion on my feet and I need to spread it around and honestly, who’s got legs that are so moisturized they can’t afford a little grease meant for cow nips? I refuse to re-read or organize this blog post.