My work day yesterday

Wednesday, May 11, 2011

Gosh, I just need to write about this. If you don't know, I do a bit of tutoring after school for a borderline special needs young chap. He's 10, with a serious case of ADD/ADHD, but with some dedication (on my part) he is managing passing grades and actually understanding math. I'm a godsend, is what.

Yesterday morning he was sulking on the couch and I kept badgering him about telling me what was wrong. "Nothing. I'm fine." Over and over. I tell you what RIGHT NOW, my biggest pet peeve is people who VERY OBVIOUSLY ACT LIKE SOMETHING IS WRONG and then tell me that OH NOTHING IS WRONG. Look, I'm not going to play this game. So I'm going to go ahead and take your statement VERY SERIOUSLY until you explode with anger because I refuse to sit and ask you 54 more times what is wrong. Get it?

Anyway. "I'm worried about my book report."

Right! The book report he's known about for three weeks that he just decided to tell me about NOW, that is due TOMORROW. No supplies, no book. I mean, come on. Anyway, long story long, we finished the report (which included designing a cereal box and marketing campaign that relates to the characters and plot of the story, as well as a two-minute advertisement speech -- oh, designing a game on the back of the box! I very briefly remembered going to college for projects like this.) Can you believe it? Does my incrediblenessity know no bounds? Holler at your damn selves.

Oh -- anyway, where I was going with this. I was upstairs printing out the comps for the cereal box and I felt a piece of paper in my back pocket. A little backstory, now: often times when I’m inebriated I find myself to be the funniest person in the world. I have always, ALWAYS gotten the giggles. Uncontrollable giggles. Because my head is just the most amazing circus and comedy show combination in the entire world during those moments and there is no way to convey that to an outsider. I’ve tried.

Because I’m such a big fan of myself I usually write down what I’m thinking, hoping it will be funny in the morning. It rarely is. Mostly because it is completely undecipherable. Take, for instance, this  note I found in my pocket:

Cinnamon Toast Crunch: The Movie

Things like these make me wonder why I’m ever invited to parties where alcohol is going to be present.