I'm going through such an event in my life right now. Event is the only way to accurately describe the life situation I'm in. There are multiple parts, most of which you wish you could just fast forward through so you can go out for ice cream afterward and wear pajamas while watching whatever movie you just rented from Redbox. That's what this whole thing is like for me.

I'm very sensitive to change. I think in general, people resist change. Actually, that's a fact. A fact that I know because I am educated and, occasionally, an observant person. Anyway. Change. It's happening. Change always possesses the potential to be great.

I don't know, you guys. I can sense the changes happening, and I can prepare myself for it, but when exactly is this change going to come?

I feel like I've been hustling for three years trying to make sense out of whatever real world I live in. I'm now so opposed to the idea of a career that I feel totally lost and pretty deadbeat. I just want a summer to sit outside and get really burned and sleep inside with the windows open and drink lemonade and swim and watch movies and forget responsibility.

Cell tower has been down for three days, and not having my laptop for a week put a serious cramp in my self-expression. I'm now writing from my bed. I had this moment where I was thinking to myself "This is what turning into an adult has brought me to."
 There are moments of adulthood that have made me re-experience childlike feelings of desperation and pathetic-ness that I haven't felt since I actually was a helpless little girl. This event is one of those moments.

Work has felt hard lately. Maybe because I know that as much as I love what I do, it isn't a forever job. It seems hard to keep going and make it seem like I'm feeling okay. I want to throw tantrums, stay in bed, do anything but keep trudging through my responsibilities like I do so loyally every. single. day. Sometimes you just want to throw in the towel and quit, but there's this little voice in the back of your head that's persistently saying "JUST KEEP GOING!" I realize that this is pretty childish complaining. Everyone has to work all day and there are certainly people who have it much worse than I do, but MAN am I tired.

That's all it is. Tiredness. And Sunday.