Dear Person at Cornell Who Reads My Blog,

Here's a list of things I have to say to you:

1) I can see you on my site tracker.
2) I can tell that you read my blog a lot and check many pages per visit.

3) You should be far too intelligent to have any interest in anything I'm saying here.

4) That being said, I know you come here to mock my stupidity, so screw you. Go get your giggles elsewhere.