I decided to do a mini-cleanse today to get rid of some of the excess bloat I've been carrying around on my everything.

Here are a few tips for cleansing.

1. Cleansing sucks
2. You don't have to go all out with any weird drinks or fasting
3. That said, in the morning drink a big glass of water with fresh lemon squeezed in. Lemon acts as a natural diuretic (anti-bloat) and you will start peeing within 20 minutes. If you drink two glasses, you'll pee all morning. And it'll be clear. Which means you don't have to flush.
4. Fresh vegetable stock. Not out of a box or can. I'm talkin'... get some carrots, celery, onions, potatoes, and let them sit in water on the stove all day. All day. It'll turn into a mucky diarrhea-ish looking water. Drink it. It'll move things along in your system and, paired with the lemon water, you'll get rid of water weight and you won't look pregnant anymore (unless you are pregnant).

Right now, I feel really nauseated and starving. I think that means it's working. I'm going to scramble up some eggs soon, though. Because F cleansing.