I have been cold since 5pm yesterday

Tuesday, November 2, 2010

The entire night I have been cold. I will never be warm again. This is my life. I’m just going to have to live it now.

There’s a part in some shitty Nicholas Spark novel (redundant?) where some old dude describes how being old is full of just being cold. The kind of cold that permeates your entire body. 100 blankets cannot keep Old Cold out. That terrifies me more, if it’s true. It terrifies me more than the fact that I just admitted to reading one or more Nicholas Spark novel.

Last night I was so tired I fell asleep just barely after 8pm. Holy crap, Internet. Holy crap.

I also… I would like to preface this by saying that I’m a pretty good driver. I’ve never hit a moving object and only once have I hit a parked car. Also once I brushed a curb. But I usually drive like a graceful f'ing swan, ok?

But last night, as I sleepily drove along my street I went and put on my blinker to enter my driveway. I don't know why, I guess it just felt right in the moment. Only instead of a green flashing light blinking on my dashboard to indicate that I had in fact just turned on the blinker, my car came to a jolting halt that led to a giant red welt across from chest from my seat belt, which indicated that I had actually shifted into park instead of turning on the blinker. I shifted into park while going 15. What is the over/under for when my transmission falls out?

So that happened. Good game, Internet. Good game.