Friday, September 3, 2010

In the Summer of 2007, a few friends and I went to an exclusive screening of the movie Teeth. If you haven’t graduated into the year 2010 yet, Teeth is a movie about a girl born with Vagina Dentata — basically, her yaya bites off intrusive penises. At the screening we were given a form to fill out about its suspense vs. comic value. The entire audience undoubtedly found it much funnier than suspenseful (and, the saddest part about all of this is it was intended to be a thriller).

Last night some self-righteous girl was saying that this movie is completely anti-woman, and women should be ashamed to admit that they’ve seen this film. First of all, as a woman, that comment offended me. Don’t sit there and tell me what I can and cannot like, as a fellow woman. Second of all, I’m all “What are you talking about?! A vagina badass enough to grow its own protection? That’s probably the most empowered thing I can think of. And like sure, the chick is probably bummed out at first that her junk is eating the penises of all these dudes, but these dudes are trying to rape her, and I think that if we all had that option, we’d be thankful in the long run.” 

Not to mention that in South Africa, there has actually been an anti-rape device developed that works similarly to the teeth in this movie. 

[UPDATE] Someone just mentioned to me that Teeth doesn’t have the “empowering message I’m looking for.” Let me clarify: It’s a movie about a vagina with teeth. I was kind of half-kidding. I was actually shocked that the topic of female empowerment was even brought up in relation to what will in the long term be an insignificant movie. It will at the very best be a campy cult classic, and “classic” is most likely far too strong of a word.