60 Severed Heads Found on Board Southwest Jet

This is an article from June, that I am just reading about NOW. About my primary airline! I read this title and made an audible noise that forced its way past my teeth and into the air (“UHHHahghmph”) without my permission. I live for this stuff.

Related: I don’t believe they ever found out about those 6 severed feet washing up along the shore of British Columbia all within a year of each other and that hurts me. I need to know the story behind these severed feet. If you have any inside information, e-mail me. I won’t even go to the police. Just tell me everything you know. Come on.

Related to the second related but not the primary posting point: One of the people who has read my blog must’ve murdered before. I just feel like it’s statistically a possibility. They’re probably feeling mad guilty about it right now, right as they’re reading this. They’re like, sick to their stomach over the knowledge that I’m on to them.