i thought i knew as much as a person who has never had a baby could know about the process of having a baby…

Sunday, August 29, 2010

…and one of my close friends is pregnant. She’ll have to face this. It will become reality.

I have to share: I had no clue what a mucus plug was before. What a horrible detail to not know. I knew about the breaking water, I knew you have a serious chance of pooping in front of everyone, I knew about the damn cervix dilation and that your vagina may rip and need to be sewn up like the sides of a home ec. pillow, but I had no freakin’ clue about the mucus plug.

What the shit, nature? That’s so nasty! I don’t even like blowing my NOSE.

I also learned that if your insurance is janky, you have to straight up deliver vaginally.

So guys, there goes my chance at ever having kids!!