this is a really personal essay

Saturday, July 17, 2010

For me there have always been many things that I need to do once a year to get them out of my system. It’s not that I need to be reminded that I don’t like doing these things, but it’s that I’m starting to feel old and I’m kind of cranky and so things like “singing karaoke” and “drinking” really take it out of me. I think a lot of stand ups do the same joke about how they forget that they hate candy corn every year. It’s kind of like that, except instead of being reminded that I dislike something, I’m reminded as to why I only do it once a year (also I happen to love candy corn).

Example: I generally find ramen noodles (like the kind you ate in college) to be adequate if you are poor and don’t care about your sodium intake. But, you know, I’m older now and my face gets really freaky fat looking if I don’t regulate my sodium intake. Still, I eat a package once a year because I’m hungover and craving them (chicken flavor because I can process that it’s fake and be okay with it. Artificial shrimp flavoring? That’s the stuff my nightmares are made out of.) Every single time I spend the rest of the day chugging water like I’m doing two-a-days because I can feel the salt eating my blood. No regrets, just need to get back to my happy place STAT, ma’am.

Tonight I’m going bowling, you guys. I started getting all anxious about it because I realized that I was going to feel tired and like none of the balls fit my midget hands and that I would be over it the whole time. I was like “Hey Kar, you’re going to go in there, and you’re going to be fun as hell for like thirty minutes and then you’ll start to feel like maybe you weren’t cut out for the whole bowling thing and being-social thing and you’re going to get quiet and start thinking about what you’re going to blog about later. Maybe you can blog about this.”

I also realize that there’s a small chance that I could wind up really loving bowling after tonight and want to keep going all the time. As much as I know I’m going tonight to get my bowling night out of the way for 2010, I do have a little part of me daydreaming about all my new girlfriends from the bowling league and how positive we’re going to be for each other. That’s probably what keeps me going back for more for everything I feel this way about.