today is an important day

Thursday, May 27, 2010

I have learned so much about myself and gotten two very heartfelt emails from my two number one people in the last 24 hours. Last night I drank about one gallon of vodka with a few people while I thought about my career situation. At one point, I was laying in my little mind nest (I hate to use that word given my situation, but it is totally a nest) that I made myself out of my pro/con list about leaving my current company.

I started panicking because I was like “Oh my God. I’m 24. That’s six years until 30. I have no money. I have a dead-end job. I am probably accepting another job in a few minutes and still pretty confused deep down because I don’t know exactly what the right choice is. My boyfriend is across the country on tour and can’t grasp the entire scope of my drama. I used to be so fun and charming, but now I am tired-looking and tired-acting. I have nothing to live for.” And then I remembered that I’m not 24. I’m 23. And I was actually sitting in a room full of people. And I was stressed to the point where I didn’t know my own age, and that’s probably the only real problem.

What a relief.