sharing something about me with you

Tuesday, May 4, 2010

Hi, Internet. Love you. Miss you all the time.

OK, so guess what I’m doing?! I’m turning over a new, moist leaf. I’m trying to get my life back on point, and going home all the time and drinking orange juice is definitely helping, but I was like, “What’s something I really need to do that doesn’t involve me getting health insurance?” and I was like, “Well, I could keep my situation moist.”

The other day, my friend’s mom was telling me how her husband lotions her feet every night and then puts her socks on so her feet keep from cracking. I thought that was real romantic and texted my dude that maybe he should get into that kind of mode, but then he didn’t respond fast enough so now I’m like, “Forget it, I’ll do it for myself.”

So today when I was purchasing a new bra, some Benadryl cream for my bug bites and some heat pads for my back (I know, I know. This all keeps giving you boners. I apologize. Hope you have a lap pillow), I picked up some “lotion socks” and “lotion gloves.” I sprung for the gloves. I had orginally planned on just the socks, but my friend’s mom always wore the gloves and my hands are important, so I feel the need to keep those on point, too. I went home and I put on my back pad and then put the ointment on my bug bites and then went about Bag Balming the crap out of my phalanges and sticking ‘em in cotton.

I have to say, it’s hard to use the touch pad on my computer and my dog keeps trying to lick inside the socks, but I feel really glamorous right now. I bet Coco Chanel did stuff like this.