Trip was incredible. Finally back in my bed in LA. I slept two hours in the last 24 and traveling with a giant purple carry-on? It ain’t cute, let me tell you THAT much. The last six days of my life included five states and six airports. Blizzard in Denver was a veritable nightmare and I’m not getting into it. Ask me about it when you see me.

I will lay here and kiss this little panda until I’m ready to face my suitcase.

Let me tell you what I’m thinking about Southwest Airlines:
   
1.    I need effing Internet access on a plane.
   
2.    Did they find all their flight attendants at some open mic in Temecula? Believe it or not, I don’t fly for the free jokes. I don’t want to hear some skinny man’s new material about how much I don’t want to hear his voice. He’s right. I don’t want to hear his voice. That’s it. Done. No jokes. No bits. It’s not funny. Shut up. I’m miserable.
   
3.    TOO CUTE. TOO CUTESY. Do people understand that the main interest of an airline should be getting your ass safely across the country and not making you read an illustrated safety pamphlet that looks like it was created by Wes Anderson?
   
4.    It’s cheap. I always fly Southwest. I’ll probably fly it again.