sit in a circle and listen to me

Tuesday, February 2, 2010

Punky at 5 and 5:30, Family Ties, News, Wheel, Jeopardy. That was the background noise to my late afternoons of playing in the loft of my parents’ house when I was 5.

One specific incident I remember from when I was about 5 years old, I was watching Punky and eating a little box of Sunmaid raisins, probs waiting for my sister to come home from school so we could play. Naturally, I was a curious child and decided to see if I could fit a raisin up my nose. And it did fit! I was so pleased with how far I could push the raisin up my nose! I was wondering if my nose would ever end on the inside and then I suddenly started to panic when I realized there was no way I was gonna get this raisin out. I didn’t want to tell my mom what I had done because I knew I would get in trouble, so I knew I had to figure out a way to get it out myself.

So I’m there in this big brown overstuffed couch watching the second of back-to-back Punky breathing as hard as I could out of my nose. Then I just tried to fish it out with my finger. After what seemed like forever but was probably only two commercial breaks, I managed to finally get the little guy back out of my nose. Then I had to hide the evidence. Because I’ve always lived in fear, you guys. This isn’t new.

So like, I have this snot covered raisin and I wasn’t about to eat it, but I knew that if I threw it away I stood the risk of running in to my mom or dad or sister or uncle or some other adult that was in that house that monitored my behavior and they would ask why I was throwing a perfectly good raisin away, so that wasn’t gonna happen. I looked all around the TV room and decided that the best place to put the raisin in question would be the windowsill crack because it kind of looked like a dead fly. I don’t know, it just seemed like the place to do it, and so I totally did it and went back to my couch to finish out my afternoon viewing schedule.

Now, I know we’re talking about a 5 year old me, but I imagine that figuring out that I could shove raisins up my nose and get them back out AND hide them was like what I imagine as my first panic attack. So like, I sat there and went through the whole ordeal again, except this time to the soundtrack of Family Ties and slightly less anxiously than the first time because I knew that positive results were possible.

I’m not sure if I ever really did the whole “shove a raisin in your nose, panic, get it out and hide it in the windowsill” routine past that afternoon, but I can tell you that I also shoved a Tic Tac up my nose a few years later.

Well, cool story time, you guys. I’m gonna hit the sack.